Chapter Closed

Yesterday was Hailey's last day of Physical Therapy. Her therapist tested her again during their session and said she did great and was "well within normal range" with everything she asked her to do. They did an obstacle course where Hailey would have to climb up, down, etc to get to the end. They did a rope ladder which her therapist said she would normally hold at the bottom so the ladder couldn't swing (making it easier to climb), but Hailey did it without her holding it still. They even walked in moon shoes which her therapist said was hard and Hailey did it (holding hands, but her therapist said she had no doubt if they did it a bit longer Hailey would have been able to do it on her own). She said Hailey is a little weaker in her left leg still, but it's a normal weakness and it's only a smidge. A dominant vs not dominant, normal weakness. She also reassured me that the chances of her coming down with GBS again are just as rare as her catching it the first time. Although that should put me at ease, with as rare as it is, Hailey got it. She said that we know our child and knew something just wasn't right the first time and because we caught it so early she really believes that's why Hailey made such a fast recovery. And of course, if we had any questions, notice something, whatever, we could always call her.

Total Rehab Center in Robinwood rocks my socks! If you ever need physical, occupational, or speech therapy (which I hope you never do!) and you live close to Hagerstown, MD you'll want to go there!

If you remember, Hailey finished Occupational Therapy a week or so ago too. We are now therapy free, almost weaned off the nerve blocker medication with no complaints so far of any pain, which essentially means, we are closing the door to this chapter in our lives. Of course that doesn't mean that we'll never think about it because truth be told, I think about it every.single.day. I read articles about other people who have had it and how they explain it and I always wonder "Is that how it felt to Hailey?" I am always wondering, and in fear of the answer, "Was Hailey in pain at all in the hospital?" "Was Hailey scared?" "Did she understand, even if I'm sure she was scared, what was going on?" "How much does she remember?" "How conscious was she really during her hospitalization?" And of course when I think of the interaction we had with her, asking her questions and her head nod answers, her being upset and trying to cry over the breathing tube, following directions when asked to move parts of her body, I know that she was really awake during all this, and how scared she really must have been. Reliving the first few days in my head. It all just breaks my heart!

Then, when I get upset thinking about all those things, I try and take a peek at her as she is running around and playing with her brothers. I think about how well she is doing now.

This experience has taught me something, or maybe I should say, reminded me. Family is the most important thing. My kids, really enjoying them, takes priority over everything. Work can wait, cleaning can wait, who cares if we are eating hotdogs instead of an elaborate dinner because I was too busy enjoying my kids to prepare a big dinner?! It has shown me how precious life is. Even the healthiest of kids can be fighting for their lives in an instant. Hailey was running around like a normal kid one day and within 3 days she's on a breathing tube and completely paralyzed. Never take those healthy and fun moments for granted thinking that is what will be there tomorrow. That is not guaranteed. The dirty laundry is guaranteed to be sitting there tomorrow...a healthy child to enjoy is not.




I plan to continue writing in this blog. It's been somewhat therapeutic to me and I have actually enjoyed it. So don't go far!